Ani DiFranco - Allergic To Water (audio WXPN: Free At Noon): https://youtu.be/08m5Re7xWf0
It's a little past midnight and I am sitting in bed, sipping tea (because heaven knows I can't survive without caffeine) with no intention of going to sleep soon. There is a voice that's telling me that I should get some sleep, because tomorrow might bring something good. But this voice, this annoying little voice, is ever present, always whispering and I always choose to ignore it. Today, I feel like I have too much to do, yet I don't know where to start. I have three papers that are due in the next few weeks, the most urgent one being due on Monday. I also have a presentation to prepare for. But I can't bring myself to research and write these papers. I bought Jamaica Kincaid's Lucy today and I am itching to start reading it. My mind is telling me that I am reading so many books at any given time and I should at least finish one before starting Lucy. I also have Ani DiFranco's Allergic to Water on repeat. And each time the song starts, I decide on what to do just after the song ends: it started with deciding on researching on Monday's paper; then I switched to reading Lucy; then I switched to reading Susan Sontag's Regarding the Pain of Others- one of the books I am reading to Roxane Gay's an Untamed State- yet another book that I am halfway through. But towards the end of every repetition, I tell myself that I should listen to it just one more time. Oh, how I am an expert at procrastinating.
Perhaps I should have started with my declaration of love for the awesome Ani DiFranco. But I feel that love isn't quiet the right word. I am beyond love, this is full blown obsession. An obsession that could as well be an infliction, but I don't care. I have to listen to Ani. Ani grounds me, every song she sings, I believe, is about me, because how could every song she sings be what I am needing? How could she be the one I go to whenever I am happy, or sad, or numb? From Grey to Not a Pretty Girl to Soft Shoulder to Shameless to School Night. Right now, and for the past several months, I am obsessed with her 2014 album Allergic to Water. There are several songs that are my favourite: Careless Words, Dithering, Rainy Parade. But it is Allergic to Water, the single, that I keep coming back to.
Favourite Lyrics
You can't even imagine
The torturous state I have been existing in
I am allergic to water
It itches my throat and blisters my skin Still I drink coz I have to, I bathe coz I have to
But boy it's a pain
You may wonder
What would possess someone like me to go on
You may wonder how it's possible something so basic could go wrong
All I can say is if you stretch your mind all the way as far as it goes
There's someone out there who lives farther than that in a place you can never know
So right now
If you are looking at me
You can't assume that I am thirsty
And I don't want your sympathy
I am just telling you so you'll understand
This is me, sincerely, doing the best that I can
If I haven't said that Ani's lyrics move me, then I will say it again. This song is about empathy, it's about not making assumptions, it's about embracing my otherness. I don't like it when people make assumptions about me, simply because other people are that way. Is it too much to ask that when someone approaches me, they come with a blank slate, so that whatever they learn about me doesn't surprise them?
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