When asked to describe me, a friend recently said and I quote, "Lina is the type of person you'll tell, 'I like water', and she'll tell you reasons why she doesn't like water. In short, Lina has her own way of thinking which is completely different from other people's." Another friend of mine said that these days she finds herself thinking about my warped opinions while going through her days. Today, a group of my friends were talking about how much they had to do tonight when one of them said, "You guys will be working your asses off while Lina will be doing her nocturnal reading." They then proceeded to ask me which book I am currently reading, and I told them Wife of the Gods by Kwei Quartey and A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra. One of them commented that I am always reading queer- no pun- books that none of them has read. You might think that I found these observations insulting. Quite the contrary, I took them as a complement, because in a world where everyone seems to be coming from a duplicating machine, I am proud of the fact that I have chosen a different path, a different song and I am dancing my way through this path listening to my own song.
I don't see myself as weird. I just don't do things or think a certain way just because other people think that way or because it's the conventional way of thinking. My thought process originates from my own way of looking at life. My opinions (I am very opinionated, but then again, who isn't?) are shaped by my experiences and where my empathy lies. I don't let other people influence my decisions, because I believe being self sufficient starts with independence of thought, of mind and renunciation of what is deemed acceptable, conventional or proper. I read what I find interesting and what stimulates my mind, not what other people are reading; I'll choose reading over watching a movie any day, even if it's a popular movie; I'll choose one on one conversations over a group of people anytime, even if it's a momentous occasion that requires my input; I'll choose staying up at night even when doing nothing over going to sleep any day.
One of the reasons I started this blog was that I had been called weird enough times so I thought that a blog called Idiosyncratic Hedonist would document my 'weird attributes'. I don't know how it transitioned into personal musings, intentional living and whatever else I write about. But I am always in a perpetual transitional state. I don't know what this blog will transition to, but I am sure it will continue to be true to my thoughts, my mental meanderings and wanderings that translate to the simultaneous complexities and simplicities that make up my life.
The title of this post is from the song Angel in Blue Jeans by Train.
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