Allow me to indulge your imagination as I vividly describe this woman that I have conjured up: She is that woman with a crazy sense of fashion, a unique hair style that makes her stand out in a crowd; she has 20/20 vision but always wears geek glasses and sunglasses when the weather allows it; she works out at the gym thrice a week; she has a good job that she likes and which pays her enough and then some; she looks everyone straight in the eye when she talks to them; she drinks Barcadi in the morning till it goes to her head (I've just quoted Matchbox 20, guys); you can never miss a pack of Marlboro, a packet of gum and a bottle of water in her purse; she has several tattoos with very philosophical meanings; she is very comfortable in her own skin and sexuality; she is very sarcastic and has a wicked sense of humour. That woman, dear reader, is the woman I have always aspired to be, a bad-ass who kicks ass in every aspect of her life. I even read articles online which give tips on 'bad-assery'.
Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want. And such is life. This, instead, is what I am: I do not work out at the gym thrice a week; I do, however, attend yoga classes once a week; I am not hardcore enough to smoke cigarettes, I am addicted to coffee though, a less cooler alternative if you ask me; I do not have several tattoos, the single tattoo that I have is hidden underneath layers of clothing and is only seen by myself and the people who share my bed; I do not drink Barcadi in the morning, I am your typical beer girl; I do not have a unique or crazy hairstyle, I am looking for internships in several organizations and I do not want to be turned down on the basis of my hair; I do not have a wicked sense of humour, I think in terms of books and quote music lyrics; I do not have a place of my own, I do, however, have a room of my own in my mother's house which by the way is always in a mess (it is 'lived in' is a much better phrase to describe it); I do not have everything figured out, and this scares me shitless. In short, I am a good girl, and parts of me are just a mess; my love life, my finances, my relationships. But I have no choice but to love this messy me now as I work hard to be that bad-ass that I aspire to be.
The title of this post is from the song Dance in the Dark by Lady Gaga.
