My introduction to, or more precisely, my stumbling upon- because when it comes to music, I seem to stumble upon rather than being introduced to- Matchbox Twenty was by this album, Exile on Mainstream. This is how I remember it: it was in 2010 (3 years after this wonderful collection had come into existence), a couple of months after I was done with my high school career, a time when I had so much time with myself, a time filled with hope, too much hope that has with time turned to tentative hope (but that deserves a whole different post). So I was home listening to the radio, and it was during this mid morning show that was also a request show and a woman texted in to request Unwell. And this is what she said, "Please play for me Unwell by Matchbox Twenty because I am not feeling so well today." I knew this song, I had heard it being played numerous times before, but it was that day that I actually listened to the lyrics. And maybe I cried. And maybe I didn't. But I was moved by this song. And I wanted to know more about Matchbox Twenty. So I went ahead and got myself Exile on Mainstream, and for reasons I couldn't explain, I loved this album. But as it is with things that we obsess about (over), other songs, other albums from other artists and bands flirted shamelessly with me, and I am human, I fell into their charms and I stopped the obsession with Exile on Mainstream or maybe the obsession stopped.
Flash forward, five years later, I am finding myself listening to this album, on repeat. Only that now, I am five years older and wiser(?) I have changed, I have grown, my taste, surprisingly, has become both more and less defined. Taking a peek at my music collection, an observer might find it a little bit messy, a little bit all over the place; it's as if I start on something and I don't see it to completion, there is a lot of incompleteness in my life, and this, I realise, is manifest in the music I listen to.
It's therefore not a coincidence that just as I was listening to Exile on Mainstream after I finished high school, I am going back to it now that I am done with my undergraduate studies. But this time around, I understand why I love this album. This time around I know it's because of the meaning of this compilation and how I completely relate to every song. Or maybe it's because I now like to attach meanings to things, to dig deeper into my psyche and the reasons behind why I love certain things.
Right now, I find myself, or rather life has thrust me into the Mainstream, where I feel unprepared, unbalanced, everything seems strange and unfamiliar as if am in exile. Exile on Mainstream as a title to a whole collection couldn't be more apropos of my life right now. I am hovering in this point of transition, a place that I've been, a place that I keep returning to, a place that's kept me on edge: I am waiting for something only that I don't know what it is I am waiting for.
