I am currently reading three books: The Unknown Errors of our Lives by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni; A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews; and An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison. This last book, which is a memoir of moods and madness has inspired me to make a playlist of terribly depressing songs to go with it. So far, the playlist has 44 songs lasting about 3 hours. The dominant artists in this playlist are Blue October and Twenty One Pilots. If you are familiar with their music, you know that this combination is lethal and is the saddest you'll ever get (other than Gary Jules in Mad World where he says "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad that dreams in which I am dying are the best I have ever had").
I find myself going back to Trapdoor every now and again. I don't know if I have already gushed about my love for Twenty One Pilots before. But I discovered them last year and what followed was me looking for everything they have ever done (including breathing). I am not depressed, and that's probably why it is hard for me to admit that this song touches something in my core. It makes me love life, and appreciate every life that is out there like the wasp that somehow got in the house this morning and it felt like it was following me around (totally random, I know).
Favourite Lyrics
Nobody knows his real name
But now he just uses one he saw on a grave
He thinks that faith might be dead
Nothing kills man faster than his own head
He used to see dreams at night
But now he is just watching the backs of his eyes
He pretends he is okay
But you should see
Him in bed late at night
He is petrified
Take me out, finish this waste of a life
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